When you are married to someone who serves in the military, you have to realize the strains it can put on the relationship. While many military marriages last for decades, others do not always survive. If you are married to a member of the military and you are concerned about your marriage, consider these tips:
Look for Signs of Troubles
If you have a gut feeling that your marriage is on the rocks, do not ignore it. Chances are your spouse can feel something is wrong as well. If your spouse deploys and you feel relief instead of sadness that he or she is away, chances are your marriage is in need of help.
Get into Counseling Sooner Than Later
Once you know something is wrong in your relationship, you should enter counseling right away. If you wait too long, the relationship is only going to suffer more. Your counselor will provide you with tools that you can both use if you wish to save your marriage. If you find that the first person you see is not helping you in the way that you need, try a different counselor or two before giving up completely.
Work on the Relationship During Deployments
When you are in counseling, it can be tough to work on your marriage if your spouse is deployed for a majority of the time. Instead of feeling relief when your spouse leaves, you should both be continuing the work you are doing to heal your marriage. Before your spouse leaves, you should both see your counselor one last time to find out about some things you can do during the deployment to help your marriage. Things like writing letters, communicating as often as possible, and having meaningful conversations are just a few things you can both do to stay connected during a deployment.
Recognize When the Marriage Is Over
Sadly, not all military marriages can survive the variety of challenges that come along with them. If you know that you can no longer stay married, you should communicate that to your spouse the right way. During a deployment is not the ideal time to state your intention to divorce. It is best that you communicate your feelings honestly, but perhaps wait until after your spouse returns to make the final decision.
Work with a Military Divorce Attorney
Once you begin to move forward with the divorce process, be sure to work with a divorce lawyer with experience in military divorces. There are additional layers to a military divorce, so you should work with someone knowledgeable in that area.Share