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Returning To The Dating World After A Divorce

by Layla Bryant

When you are in the process of getting divorced, and you know you would like to start dating again, one of the challenging questions to answer is whether it is too soon to start dating again. Some divorcees date while in the midst of a divorce, while other divorcees remain emotionally married to their ex for years before they finally consider making room for someone else. There are advantages and disadvantages to dating so soon after a divorce.

Advantage: You Might Discover Love Again

Dating soon after a divorce may help give you some perspective, especially if you enter into a healthy relationship. After years of a dysfunctional as volatile marriage, you may have forgotten what love feels like. Also, by discovering that someone else can love you, it can be easier to have the motivation to break your emotional ties with your ex.

Disadvantage: It Can Be Harder To Form A Healthy Relationship

If your ex divorced you, and you find yourself still thinking about him or her, it can be difficult to form a healthy relationship. This is especially problematic if you enter into a relationship simply to make a statement to your ex but fail to be careful with whom you choose to date next.

Advantage: Try A New Relationship Model

You will need a new model for how you will approach relationships in the future. After a divorce, you will understand what doesn't work and you can try to lay the ground rules for a different type of relationship without the same destructive habits. Also, if your previous partner was very controlling, you may be motivated to find a partner who has the opposite traits.

Disadvantage: There Might Be A Temptation To Attack Your Ex

The best individual to complain about your ex to is a counselor, friend or family member. A new dating partner is not a good individual to bring this up with because your new love interest may wonder what you will say about him or her if your relationship doesn't work. If you feel a lot of anger, you may want to focus on seeking counseling rather than on a relationship.

If you do start a relationship while in the midst of a divorce, it will be even more important to work with a divorce attorney. He or she will help you focus on the details of the divorce and will manage many of the tedious aspects of the process while you can focus on getting your life back under control.

To speak with a divorce attorney, contact a law firm such as Franklin & Rapp